So, tonight I read Chapter 1. No exercises yet, remember I'm just reading it through the first time. Before I begin my, uhhh, re-cap of the first chapter, I'm going to "re-cap" (if you will) my day of affirmations practice.

I've gotta say, morning is not my best time of day. (That's not a good affirmation, by the way, and it is an affirmation.) I say this because, this is a major thing for me: I. DO.NOT.LIKE.WAKING.UP.EARLY! Never have, but the plan is that I will. 


Upon awakening, my plan is to say, out loud, "Thank you" to my bed. "Thank you for giving me a wonderful night's sleep, and for being so warm, soft, and comfortable. I love you." Well....that didn't happen today. Let's just say, I forgot. Really, I did forget. However, I went directly into my bathroom to "make water" as Hoke says on Driving Miss Daisy, and on the stumble-bumble walk down the hallway, was somehow able to shake some of those cobwebs out of my sleepy brain, and looked into my bathroom mirror, and said, "I love you Patti. I really, really love you."

Never in my life have I said "I love you" to such a crazy hair,  droopy-face looking, not believing this shit, person, but I did it! Louise says though, that you don't have to believe it, you just say it anyway because eventually it will sink in. So, there. I did it. Small steps.

In the shower, I proclaimed that I was "showering myself with good thoughts." On my way to work, I began listening to the audio CD, "You Can Heal Your Life" and then read my selected "Power Thought Cards" aloud. I did have a wonderful day, but then I do love my job. I work with wonderful people and they make the day fun. You're probably wondering then, how is my life so f--k'd up? Patience my darlings. All will be revealed in time. :) (My life really isn't f--k'd up though, technically. I actually have a really wonderful life, but....well...give it time.)

Okay....so Chapter 1: Louise says that we create our lives by the thoughts that we think. "What we think becomes the truth for us." I think that is very true. I really believe that the people who are the most successful, just don't see themselves as any thing other than that. She says, "Life is really very simple.

What we give out, we get back." I have no trouble relating to that. If someone, (my husband let's say) pushes a button with me, or picks a fight, I want to react the same way. He pushes, so I push back. One of my goals is to not push back. If I refuse to react, there is no fight. Now, the ultimate goal (what we give out, we get back) would be to react in the opposite way. He picks a fight, I react with love/understanding/compassion. Now that's some ultimate shit! But, it IS the goal.

Louise says that we learn how we feel about ourselves as children from the adults around us. If they tell us we're bad, stupid, ugly, slutty, trampy, da da dada, blah, blah (did I reveal a little sompin, sompin?), then that's how we view ourselves, and begin to treat ourselves. By the same token, if we're told as children that we are wonderful, and that we are loved, then that's how we view ourselves as well. I think most people experience a combination. I know I did. I had some wonderful, loving support that helped balance the negative, not good enough stuff. Thank God, or whomever, for that!

Seems the gist of Chapter 1 is that we can and do choose our thoughts. We have to learn to recognize what tapes we play in our heads, and change those patterns, and those thoughts. That's what the affirmations are for. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 101. Doesn't matter what you call it, if it works. I think this works.

Each chapter ends with an affirmation. The one she ends Chapter 1 with is:

"In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete. I believe in a power far greater than I am that flows through me every moment of every day. I open myself to the wisdom within, knowing that there is only One Intelligence in this Universe. Out of the One Intelligence comes all the answers, all the solutions, all the headings, all the new creations. I trust this Power and Intelligence, knowing that whatever I need to know is revealed to me, and that whatever I need comes to me in the right time, space, and sequence. All is well in my world."

I have no doubts about all the love in my life, except maybe my own. That is my project. I am so fortunate that I have three absolutely amazing grown children, two, count 'em, precious grand boys, wonderful siblings, parents, friends, on and on. So much to be grateful for. But, I do have work to do, so....

I love you Patti. You are wonderful, lovable, smart (brilliant really), and beautiful! I really, really love you!